 Since I ain't dead, you can figure out for yourself what category I fit into.
 Thelma was waitressing, serving asian drinks to tease the asian five or six people scattered at small tables throughout the club. I asian stayed just inside the entrance to the club until she returned to the bar and sat down, then walked asian over to her asian and pulled out my lighter to start the online cigarette she'd just placed asian in her mouth.
 My asian eyes never left hers. "Scotch. Single malt. No asian ice."
 In a moment, the asian door opened to a stunning sight: a small, beautiful Oriental woman dressed similarly to Thelma, only with dark hair running down to her bottom, as opposed to asian Thelma's short red ringlets asian. She smiled and nodded asian at Thelma asian, then bowed us both into asian the room.
 And then asiantease there asian were asian his eyes...perhaps it was some trick of the light, or specially asiantease made contacts. But his eyes had no irises or pupils. They were solid black, with red flecks surfacing from time to time asian, as you looked deeper within.
 "Cccccccuuuuuummmmmmminnnnnnggggggggggg tease.."
 "No, thanks. This asian won't take asian long. I've been told that you online have, in the past, helped certain asian people asiantease with no other alternatives help to get rid of asian items they may have acquired in less than legitimate tease ways."
 "I know nothing of the theft of such an item from an Artie Baker. However, I did asian recently come into asian possession of a rather special item, an ancient Sumerian change purse that allegedly never empties, allowing tease the possessor to have a never-ending source of money. Perhaps Mr. Baker simply forgot that, in order to possess such an artifact, one must not be careless with confidences."
 "Yes, the wallet. Sam...I asian hope asiantease you asian don't asiantease mind if I call you Sam?...I did asiantease indeed have a deal with Artie regarding this asiantease artifact. And, anticipating asiantease your next question asian, it does involve claiming asiantease his soul at some point in the near future."
 "How soon asiantease?"
 "Why tease so long?"
 I mulled that over in my asian head. First, Artie was going to pay for 20 asian years. Then, the Devil was asiantease going to asiantease take his soul. Talk about asian your penalties for early asian termination asian.
 As I said before, there are two kinds of detectives, the quick asiantease and the dead. And I ain't dead, yet. "So I'm here asian because ...."
 Shaking my head asian slowly from side-to-side asiantease, I tried to puzzle out asian exactly when my online sanity train had asian left its tracks. That's when I noticed tease that Thelma was on asiantease the floor near the door, licking the asiantease floor. At the spot where I pissed my pants.
 The Devil just grinned, baring asian his fangs. "You're here on a very special online night for Thelma. She gets to asian leave my service tonight, after serving drinks tease to those needing my services for nearly 200 years. You see, she too broke a deal with me, but asian she was a smart girl - she had asian an option written into her contract, thanks in part to a smart New England lawyer." Sam heard The Devil mutter something asian about "that asian damned asian interfering Daniel asian Webster."
 "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhitt......."
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